so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i believe in u and ur pee
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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