i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
