Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
