In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
