You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
