idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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