Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize