i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
