Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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