Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The best revenge is premature balding
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
