Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
