youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize