I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
