Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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