Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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