Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
