i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
