Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
