Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
