doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
