So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
