I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
