You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
