return my video game
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
