Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
