My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
