If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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