That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
