Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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