im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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