We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
