"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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