he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
