He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
