Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I touched a dick in church today
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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