Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
