is wine microwaveable?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
