evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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