Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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