i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
