Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
