I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
