I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
