so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize