weddingsv make me drug and hornr
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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