Got a toothbrush?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
