whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
