Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
