i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
