On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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