no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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