sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize