I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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