I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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