what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
