Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize