Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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